Part of My SPILA

Toxic Personalities


Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member; you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered on their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is so over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common.

1) The more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.

2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.

3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?


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The Beatles

How to Ask for a Pay Raise

Asking for a Pay Raise
Step 1
Call or email your employer and ask for a private meeting. It is not necessary to divulge why you are asking for a private meeting. Just say you want to talk in private. If your boss wants to know before the meeting, just say you'd like to discuss a pay raise. Your employer may want to be prepared for the meeting.
Step 2
Come to the office the day of the meeting dressed professional. If your office normally dresses casual, just dress to impress your employer the day of the meeting. This will show them you are serious about this meeting and are serious about your job.
Step 3
Stay calm when talking to your employer. Treat this meeting like it is your first interview with this employer. Keep your eyes focused on your employer so they know you are serious. Try not to shift in your seat when talking. If you need to look at your notepad, make it brief. Your employer will be impressed you came prepared to state your case for a pay raise.
Step 4
Produce evidence of your success in the workplace when your employer asks why you want a raise. This is when you take out your notepad with the list of your accomplishments, such as your attendance record, willingness to work extra hours, or ability to assist coworkers.
Step 5
Shake your employer's hand while looking their in the eyes. Your employer may say they need time to think it over and look up your work history and dedication to the company. If the company gives pay raises on a set schedule, you may need to wait until the next pay rise time period.

Tongue Twisters

A tongue-twister is a phrase that is designed to be difficult to articulate properly. Tongue-twisters may rely on similar but distinct phonemes, unfamiliar constructs in loanwords, or other features of a language. See my set of tongue twister below.


1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don ' t understand, say " don ' t understand". But if you understand and say "don’t understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow in a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

9. Mr.. Inside went over to see Mr. Outside. Mr. Inside stood outside and called to Mr. Outside inside.

Mr. Outside answered Mr. Inside from inside and Told Mr. Inside to come inside. Mr. Inside said "NO", and told Mr. Outside to come outside.

Mr. Outside and Mr. Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr. Outside coaxed Mr. Inside to come inside, and then both Mr. Outside and Mr. Inside went outside to the riverside.

10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctors the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctors the way the doctor who doctors doctor?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctors doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor ' s way"

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.

Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely .

15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly" Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.


17. Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soars seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar ' s seesaw, See ' s saw would not have sawed Soar ' s seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soars seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.....

How to Be Productive at Work

Getting started: Start with understanding and doing your assigned task. Remember, taking the first step is always difficult, but if you do not take that one step you can never achieve your goals. Don't get worried with the task assigned, if it is new to you. Ask required questions to better understand assigned task. Once you get started, everything will come in easy.
Stay Healthy: Bad health can also be a possible reason for being unproductive. Before you go to work; take your breakfast, rest well and research about your duties.
Make an appointment with yourself: Give yourself at least 30 minutes during the day. This will enable you to concentrate and focus your attention on the matters at hand. Give yourself time to think and concentrate as you tackle your job and projects. These uninterrupted 30 minutes will give fruitful results in the long run.
Utilize your prime time: We all have a specific time of the day when we have lots of vigor and zest and a greater ability to think and concentrate. Work out when you have your high energy levels and tackle your most important work at that time. Try to arrange meetings, appointments and other activities at another time of the day.
Avoid unplanned meetings: Spontaneous meetings are real interrupters as well as huge time-wasters and productivity destroyers. They break your concentration, disturb your thought process while undermine your momentum. The next time someone comes into your office or sits by your desk and start making he/she comfortable, say that you are in the middle of an important project. Then ask if you could get together at a mutually convenient time later in the day or week. This is called a polite excuse.
Schedule your meetings with staff and colleagues: In most offices, time is wasted when people get up from their desks to ask their colleagues a question. Fix a specific time to meet colleagues for queries. Best is the time slot which does not fall in the peak hours of work.
Take breaks: It is a fact that taking breaks periodically during the day relax your body and nerves and refreshes you for the tasks ahead. Ensure that you take small breaks all day. It could be a walk to the water cooler from your office/room or a visit to the photocopy machine/fax/printer.
Planning required: Establish a routine of listing your daily and weekly tasks. This will allow you to have your most productive week all the time. Start your day an extra 15 minutes early to do this planning every day. Write down the top 3 important things you must do that day. Plan your upcoming week on Sunday evening.
Drop unimportant tasks: Delete the non-essential items from your to-do list. The best way to do this is to prioritize and complete your most important things first.
Enjoy your time at work: Being productive and competitive in official business doesn't mean that you have to be serious all the time. Smiling doesn't mean you're not working hard. Be enthusiastic as well as competitive. Stay positive, that way you can face and win challenges better.
Be a Team Player: Don't be afraid to collaborate with others. Don't wait for your boss to tell you what to do
Learn from criticism: Be a sport and never immediately reject critiques from others, even if you do not like or respect them. Sometimes people you do not like may be giving you more honest feedback than you can get from others.
Acclimatize: Adapting is in the nature of living beings. Those who do not adapt, become extinct.
Upgrade your learning: Always be on the lookout for opportunities to learn and improve your skills. Look for good seminars and training.