Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man's life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, you may get to "study" with a partner as well. And by "lucky," we mean she will be there to stamp out any silly ideas you might get from overenthusiastic actors and actresses who give you the wrong impression of what good sex is.
Negative Effects Of Porn
There are things that happen in adult movies that you should not apply to your real sex life. Here are few don'ts:
Don't Be A Jackhammer
This is one of porn's greatest downfalls. In order for the camera to capture what's happening, the men hammer in and out of the women. Don't do this all the time! Jackhammering desensitizes her (and you) and is often just a waste of time -- if not for you, then usually for her. Most girls like the weight of your body on them and the pressure of your whole groin against theirs. You don't need to constantly go in and out to bring your girl to orgasm -- it's usually the opposite.
Sometimes you should stay in and move just slightly. If you need to go fast to get anything out of it, stop every once in a while to take a breather and let her enjoy the pressure of your body against hers. Quality goes further and achieves more than bouncing away. She will be back for more if you do it less like a porn star and more like the great guy you are.
Don't Be Too Aggressive With Your Touch
The actresses in pornography are trained professionals. This is what they do for a living, so they can handle -- and often enjoy -- a bit of rough play. The camera can't see a delicate caress, but it can see a strong grope or thrust of the tongue. Just be aware that this is for the screen, and things are exaggerated for effect. Grabbing her head and slamming her against your groin as she gives you oral sex will ensure that she will never want to do it again.
Don't Play Rough
Smacking her hard on her bottom will probably hurt her quite a lot, and she may not think favorably of you afterward (though the opposite can be true, you should always wait for her to ask for it). Holding her down and being forceful with her won't do you any favors. In fact, she will think you are too rough and she will not be inclined to come back for seconds. Be gentle: She is a woman, not a football. If she wants to be roughed up, no doubt she will tell you. Boisterous sex may be her thing, but just take it easy to start with and pay attention to her signals.
Don't Get Mechanical And Routine
You need to feel her. This means both feeling out what she likes as well as physically feeling her all over. Doing what you think probably feels good because that's what they do in the movies is not going to work, and you will end up with a very unsatisfied lover. You may be touching her in all the right places, but your touch needs to be filled with a million nerve endings so you can observe her reactions. Don't think that if you do the same thing you did last time (or with the last girl) she will react the same way. Women are like the wind -- very changeable.
Don't Ejaculate Just Anywhere On Her
She doesn't necessarily want to feel like she is your sperm dumping ground, so always ask before dropping your protein-enriched gift onto -- or into -- any place if she hasn't already given you permission to do so. Stomachs, breasts and backs are reasonably safe zones, but her vagina, bottom, face, or head (especially her hair!) are expressly ask-first places.
Don't Dissect Her
Women can be at their most self-conscious during sex, so if you watch everything from all different angles it can be very off-putting for her. Pornography often exposes every crease, nook and cranny on women. Whatever you do, don't make a big show of gawking. Doing things like spreading her butt cheeks while you are behind her can be distressing and embarrassing for her, and it won't encourage her to do it again. She probably won't say anything, but she will lose her mood as soon as an insecure feeling comes up. Don't make her feel like she is your personal sex object -- she is the woman you are having sex with, not the toy you bought that you can dismantle and stare at.
Benefits Of Porn
There are definite lessons you can and should learn from watching porn that can improve your lovemaking skills. Consider the following examples:
Make It Fun, Not Serious
One of the best things about watching porn is that sex is never taken too seriously. How could it be? With hideous ...
acting, crappy music and massive body parts, it can easily swing toward the bizarre. Porn is lighthearted: Nobody is in love -- and they don't have to pretend to be. Porn is about pleasure for everyone. Keeping it light is a good way to approach sex -- it should be fun and silly sometimes. Unbridled passion and reckless abandon will come your way, but so should irrepressible smiles and giggles. Sex should not be a solemn occasion.
Masturbate In Front Of Each Other
Getting each other -- and yourselves -- off with your hands is fun, and leaves a lot of room for experimentation. Watching her bring herself to orgasm is often very arousing, and has the added benefit of a free lesson for you in what turns her on, and vice versa. Pornographers love masturbation because it's very much a visual thing. You can see exactly what the person is doing. You can do it to yourselves or to each other. It's also very mobile. Porn should inspire you to get your partner to masturbate in front of you -- a very healthy addition to your sex life.
