Monday, October 17, 2011

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb... We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.

He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him..

He was in really bad shape

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Friday, October 14, 2011

Workaholics with No Balanced Life

There is no indefinite job security. Market conditions fluctuate so
fast that workers would rather play it safe by working into the
good books of the employer. What better way to do that than to
be the first person to step into the office and the last to leave. What
started out as pure work enthusiasts end up being workaholics.
Workaholics' lives center around work and nothing else.
Workaholism was a topic we used to joke about, but as people
became more conscious of leading balanced lifestyles, it had
changed it status to a medical problem and was labeled Work
Addiction. Work addicts are in a different class. Many do not
work for the monetary rewards, promotion or recognition; they
work because they just cannot stop working. Bosses naturally love
to employ these people since their engines can run even without
fuel. The problem is that their engines don't last. Like a machine,
they lose touch with the social aspects of life and have little regard
for friends and family. They 'burn-out' at an early age, and are
often ill and depressed. How do we tell that a person is addicted
to work? What can we do to help them lead a balanced life?
 
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