5 Steps Toward A Strong and Healthy Relationship

If you think your romantic relationship is on the rocks, don't worry, for an expert has offered tips to keep it alive and happy.

"Keeping the love in a relationship is about understanding who the other partner is and working extremely hard to keep the lines of communication open," said Josh Klapow, of the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

Klapow said a relationship is doomed if the communication is not there. "Very often it's the little things, the daily hassles and decisions that couples need to make that lead to bigger problems; learning to make decisions together is critical for the survival of your relationship," he said.

Here are the five things Klapow recommends for making decisions together:

Set a specific goal

"What do each of you want? Make sure you are very specific. Eating dinner out is not a specific goal. Going to a restaurant where you can get a steak, your partner can get grilled shrimp and you both can relax in a quiet booth is specific. The more specific you are the better."

Monitor your discussion

"As you are discussing the decision at hand, make sure you are staying on track. Often couples will start discussing a goal and stray to some other topic, which can lead to frustration. So, if you notice yourself or your spouse getting off the subject, come back to the specific goal."

Arrange the situation for success

"Decision making doesn't work well when someone is tired, hungry, short for time or pre-occupied with other activities. Before you start the discussion, make sure each of you is in the right frame of mind and you have the time. If not, table the discussion as it is likely to go awry or fail."

Recruit support from one another

"A collective decision means that sometimes there will be compromise. If you are going into the discussion to win, then you are not making a collective decision; you are fighting a battle. Remind each other that you are a team and that you are in it to win collectively, not necessarily individually."

Treat yourselves

"Celebrate the success of a decision together. A hug, a celebratory reward, anything that acknowledges that together you have accomplished this task will help keep you motivated to make decisions together again." (ANI)

Four Places Men Love To Be Touched

Men love to be touched and there are some places they love to be touched but even they don't know it!

Guys, learn about your e-spots and girls, prove you really know your way around his body by focusing on some of his most ignored nerve endings.

Touch His Jawline

When you stroke a man's jaw, you're subconsciously reinforcing to him that he's masculine, which is an ego boost.

It's one of the most visible symbols of your guy's manhood, yet it rarely gets attention.

Gently trace the tips of your fingers across his jaw, starting at his earlobe and working your way down.

Lightly stroking this area stimulates sensitive nerves in his face and cup your hands around his chin and staring into his eyes for a few seconds, before leaning in for a hot and sticky kiss.

Touch His Forearm

The top of your guy's forearm is extra sensitive because of the nerve-packed hair follicles. And the smooth underside of his arm is jammed with tense muscles just begging for a release.

You can have him eating out of your hands if you face your man and lightly place your hands around each forearm with your thumbs on top, using your fingers to lightly rub up and down the top and bottom of his arms Keep rubbing until you see him visibly relax... then rub some more.

He's gonna be moaning for more!

Touch His Inner Thigh

Your man may be a bit shocked, but still really turned on when you take a voyage down his inner thigh because not many women actually explore this part of a man's body!

Gently grab his legs and spread them to expose his inner thighs. Massage his muscles with light finger strokes, upgrading to a firmer touch and we leave the rest to you...

Four Places Men Love To Be Touched

The really low back, just about his butt, is truly receptive to a soothing massage, Massaging the tut muscles there allows you to get rid of a tension-induced stiffness so he can move his hips more freely later on.

Place the heels of your hands on both sides of his spine, and stroke outward toward his sides. Move your hands down an inch and repeat until you're halfway down his butt, then move slowly back up.

Music Gives The Same High as Sex

A new study from the McGill University has revealed that listening to music is just as pleasurable as food, drugs and sex.

Listening to music releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain important for more tangible pleasures associated with sex or great food.

The study found that dopamine release in response to music elicited "chills", changes in skin conductance, heart rate, breathing, and temperature.

Combining PET and fMRI brain scans showed that dopamine release is greater for pleasurable versus neutral music, and that levels of release are correlated with the extent of emotional arousal and pleasurability ratings.

"These findings provide neurochemical evidence that intense emotional responses to music involve ancient reward circuitry in the brain," said Dr. Robert Zatorre, neuroscientist at The Neuro.

"Music is unique in the sense that we can measure all reward phases in real-time, as it progresses from baseline neutral to anticipation to peak pleasure all during scanning," said lead investigator Valorie Salimpoor, a graduate student in the Zatorre lab at The Neuro and McGill psychology program.

"It is generally a great challenge to examine dopamine activity during both the anticipation and the consumption phase of a reward. Both phases are captured together online by the PET scanner, which, combined with the temporal specificity of fMRI provides us with a unique assessment of the distinct contributions of each brain region at different time points."

The study appears in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

Common Phrases to Avoid in Conversation

What Not to Say About Someone's Appearance


Don't say: "You look tired."
Why: It implies she doesn't look good.
Instead say: "Is everything OK?" We often blurt the "tired" comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.

Don't say: "Wow, you've lost a ton of weight!"
Why: To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.
Instead say: "You look fantastic." And leave it at that. If you're curious about how she got so svelte, add, "What's your secret?"

Don't say: "You look good for your age."
Why: Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It's saying, "You look great?compared with other old people. It's amazing you have all your own teeth."
Instead say: "You look great."

Don't say: "I could never wear that."
Why: It can be misunderstood as a criticism. ("I could never wear that because it's so ugly.")
Instead say: "You look so good in skinny jeans." If you slip, say something like "I could never wear that...because I wasn't blessed with your long legs."

What Not to Say in the Workplace


Don't say: "That's not my job."
Why: If your superior asks you to do something, it is your job.
Instead say: "I'm not sure that should be my priority right now." Then have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities.

Don't say: "This might sound stupid, but..."
Why: Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with wishy-washy language.
Instead say: What's on your mind. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence.

Don't say: "I don't have time to talk to you."
Why: It's plain rude, in person or on the phone.
Instead say: "I'm just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I'm done?" Graciously explain why you can't talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.

What Not to Say During a Job Interview


Don't say: "My current boss is horrendous."
Why: It's unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you'd start bad-mouthing her. For all you know, she and your current boss are old pals.
Instead say: "I'm ready for a new challenge" or a similarly positive remark.

Don't say: "Do you think I'd fit in here?"
Why: You're the interviewee, not the interviewer.
Instead say: "What do you enjoy about working here?" By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company.

Don't say: "What are the hours like?" or "What's the vacation policy?"
Why: You want to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done.
Instead say: "What's the day-to-day like here?" Then, if you've really jumped through every hoop and time off still hasn't been mentioned, say, "Can you tell me about the compensation and benefits package?"

What Not to Say About Pregnancy and Babies


Don't say: "Are you pregnant?"
Why: You ask, she's not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she's overweight.
Instead say: "Hello" or "Great to see you" or "You look great." Anything besides "Are you pregnant?" or "What's the due date?" will do. Save yourself the
humiliation and never ask.

Don't say: "Do you plan on breast-feeding?"
Why: The issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly.
Instead say: Nothing. Unless you're very close, don't ask. If you slip, make up for the blunder by adding, "And do you feel comfortable telling me?"

Don't say: "Were your twins natural?" or "It must have been hard for your child's birth parent to give him up."
Why: You're suggesting that natural conception is better than in vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption.
Instead say: To a parent of multiples, try a light "Wow, you have your hands full!" To an adoptive parent, say the same stuff you would to any other parent: "She's adorable!" or "How old is he?"

What Not to Say to a Single (or Newly Single) Person


Don't say: "You were too good for him."
Why: You are basically saying she has bad taste. And you'll be embarrassed if they ever patch it up.
Instead say: "His loss!" It gets the same point across without disparaging her judgment.

Don't say: "I'm glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway."
Why: She'll wonder about your fake adoration for him while they were together.
Instead say: "I'm confident you'll find someone who will give you exactly what you want." It focuses on what's to come, not on the dud you're glad she's done with.

Don't say: "How could someone as perfect as you still be single?"
Why: A statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is "What's wrong with you?"
Instead say: "Seeing anyone?" If she's tight-lipped about her love life, move on to other topics.

What Not to Say During a Fight with Your Beloved


Don't say: "You always" or "You never" or "You're a [slob, jerk]" or "You're wrong."
Why: Speaking in absolutes like "you always" and "you're wrong" is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.
Instead say: "I'm upset that you left the dishes in the sink again. What can we do so that this stops happening?" Starting with the pronoun I puts the focus on how you feel, not why he's in the doghouse, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem.

Don't say: "If you really loved me, you would..."
Why: The more you treat your partner as if he'll never satisfy you, the less satisfied you'll be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something
isn't a good way to build intimacy.
Instead say: "I feel taken for granted when you don't help around the house. I would feel better if we could..." The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you're upset and then offer a solution.

Things Women Can Do That Guys Cannot

There are many things women can do that men just can't and the worst thing is, they just can't acknowledge that we are definitely the superior pole  But, here are few things that are socially acceptable for heterosexual women to do, but not heterosexual men. Both men and women CAN do most of these things, but the social implications are what often stop men from doing the things on this list. Thanks to Ranker we got this interesting list.

Women Can Openly Own Toys For Pleasure

How many guys do you know that proudly own some toy? For various reasons, some biological and some psychological, women sometimes have more difficulty pleasuring themselves than men do, whereas most men are content with using their hands.

Although women don't usually flaunt their toys in public, and would be at least a little embarrassed when the said toys make a sudden appearance at an unprepared party, most social circles – and potential romantic partners – are pretty forgiving towards women who own toys for their own personal enjoyment.

Seems like a double-standard, doesn't it? Yes. It does. And it is one of the worst ones on this list. Because we are lonely.

Women Can Wear Men's Clothes To Work

First of all, men have something down  If ANYTHING, they need more space in the bottom half of their wardrobe than women. IT'S BASIC MATH

Given the horrific impracticalities of women's fashion it's easy to understand why women have fought for their rights to wear pants. Maybe they had some hurdles, like the preconception that a woman who wore men's clothes was a lesbian, but over time it's become perfectly acceptable for a woman to wear pants, t-shirts, and even practical shoes.

If a man wants to wear clothing specifically designed for a woman he'll have to also wear the label of "transvestite". Of course, while much of the Western World is increasingly comfortable with the idea of transvestism, actually wearing high heels and a corset in public will nevertheless turn heads, and not in a positive way. It's not that every man actually WANTS to wear women's clothing, but there's no denying it-being ABLE to do so could be liberating. I mean, have you ever worn a dress? Then you know how it compares to a pair of pants on a hot summer day, and I'm not the first to say, that THAT'S freedom.

Women Can Openly Experiment With Homosexuality

Of course, many subcultures in the Western World are still hostile to homosexuality in all of its forms, but over the last few decades in particular, society as a whole has become more accepting of the homosexual way of life. Regardless of whether homosexuality is a choice or an innate facet of one's being, Kinsey was already telling us over 50 years ago that homosexual experimentation is a fairly normal part of the human experience. While there will always be detractors, naysayers and outright intolerant bastards, as a rule a certain degree of homosexual experimentation amongst females is considered socially acceptable, even "completely awesome", whereas amongst males it is pretty much not.

Many straight women are comfortable admitting to having gone through a "phase", or at least kissing another woman in a social setting, from intoxicated college reverie to innocent games of Spin The Bottle in their youth. If a woman admits to these things she can still be considered heterosexual by pretty much everyone in the room.

On other side, a man cannot amongst most social circles admit to homosexual experimentation – no matter how fleeting, or even if they decided they did not enjoy the experience – without fear of being permanently labeled "gay" by those around them.

Women Can Dance Together

Dancing is a wonderful and highly personal form of self-expression. It feels good, it's great exercise and is even considered ultra-masculine in some non-western cultures. Practically everyone dances at some point in their lives, at least when nobody is watching, but dancing in public is something that men are often uncomfortable with, even with a female partner.

If women think men are being ridiculous for not enjoying themselves in a group setting with members of the opposite pole, that's nothing compared to the discomfort most men feel with dancing around other men. Dancing with other men is not a socially acceptable practice, although nobody bats an eye when women dance together (at least, not disapprovingly). As with many of the items on this list, homophobia is often a factor in this case. But more than that, fear of dancing in general is an expression of social inadequacy and discomfort with one's body and social standing.

Being ignored by those around you is one thing, but being laughed at is another issue altogether. Add to the mix close proximity to other men in an uninhibited display of self-expression, and you've got a powder keg of social anxiety that most men just aren't comfortable with, even if they are being a little ridiculous about it.

Women Can Call Each Other Attractive

Although women can be competitive amongst their own gender, they are also allowed to be mutually supportive in ways that straight men usually cannot publicly. This is due mostly to, again, the insane amount of homophobia present in our Western culture today. Women are allowed to compliment each others looks free from social awkwardness, often to explicit degrees.

Heterosexual men, however, are not generally "allowed" to say that other men look "sexy" in any context. In fact, any compliment regarding a degree of physical attractiveness must usually be qualified out of social insecurity. "I can see why women go for him", for example, is reasonably acceptable. "Nice haircut" is vague enough to generally be fine. Something like, "Dude, sweet abs" might be allowed in certain contexts, usually in an exercise-centric environment. But, "Oh man, you look totally hot in that tank top!" Not socially acceptable! Not socially acceptable at all!!!



Much like #1 on this list, the fact that men can't wear makeup isn't something that many men lose sleep over. Frankly, many men have no desire whatsoever to wear makeup, but their position on make-up might change if wearing it it became socially acceptable. Although makeup can often be worn to make one appear more attractive and feminine, it can also be used to de-emphasize features, cover unsightly blemishes and basically smooth over perceived defects in one's general appearance.

It would be nice if we all lived in a perfect world in which everyone felt good about how they looked and was accepted based on their inherent worth as opposed to the degree to which they are aesthetically pleasing, but until that happens allowing men to wear makeup is a logical and infinitely more reasonable step. There are certain instances in which it is 100% socially acceptable for males to wear makeup (face painting for sporting events, for example, or when one works as a model or actor), but in general, this is definitely something that women hold and keep over any men with even the slightest facial defects.

Women Can Make Sweeping Denouncements of Men

If a woman says that "all men are bastards", no one is likely to bat an eye, and they're even less likely to go to bat for the male species. If, on the other hand, a man says "All women are bitches", then social norms dictate that he's being sexist. Frankly, the latter statement is generally considered so inflammatory that those who hear it are often incapable, or at least completely unconcerned with the context in which it was spoken. If a woman says "All men are bastards" because somebody broke her heart, the statement is perfectly reasonable. If a man says "All women are bitches" because a woman broke HIS heart, then he's being unreasonable. Frankly, this kind of momentary negativity may at times be understandable, at least on an individual level, but it leads to larger social problems.

If everyone accepts that one group of people, whether they be codified by gender, race, religion or what have you, is intrinsically worthy of scorn then it fosters an environment of discomfort, if not outright sexism on either side. But that statement is not to say that hyperbole used for personal expression should be verboten, nor does this statement forgive those who do denounce an entire gender out of genuine ignorance or hatred. It merely means that we have to be careful of what we say, and under what context we take others to task for their words.

For various reasons – many of them arguably valid – it is socially acceptable for females to insult the male gender as a whole, while the opposite is most definitely NOT considered socially acceptable. Whether you think this schism is reasonable or otherwise, it is most definitely more forgiving towards women at this point in our cultural, Western, history.