Natural Disasters

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunami to arise,
Hurricanes to sway around,


Nobody teaches how to choose a wife
Natural disaster just happen !!!!!!!!!!!

Why Do We Got Easily Tired At Noon?

There is something about the post lunch hour, when a sense of boredom creeps in and time weighs so heavy that you can almost hear the clock tick. As the sun shines brightest upon the day, we feel an urge to retire to bed or if we are at work, to put our heads down and catch 40 winks.

The midday tiredness is a by-product of a modern lifestyle that keeps us always on the move, hardly leaving us with time to stop and have a proper breakfast. At work, you’ll see colleagues drinking cups and cups of coffee just to stay awake or engaging in mindless chatter to bide time and ward off boredom. But why are we prepared to give up on the day by noon while pending work mounts, and there is so much more to generally go through?

We talk to experts on the reasons for the dismal energy levels at noon, and how best we can correct it.

No goodnight sleep
Most of us bring the office home, continue to talk on the phone, or work on laptops and endlessly watch television till midnight. This takes away from our prime sleep hours that help restore tired nerves and rejuvenates the body. A routine of sleeping late and waking up early, and then rushing to work, leaves you exhausted much sooner in the day. Get at least 7-8 hours of undisturbed sleep. Preferably, turn your cell phones off while you do so.

No time for play
When you have no exercise routine sketched out, you do burn out faster. Agreed, morning hours are the busiest, but it is worth squeezing in a brief workout schedule. Anything from brisk walks, jogging, skipping to running on the treadmill helps, if going to the gym is too far-fetched an idea for you. An evening workout is not half as effective as an early morning warm up sets the pace for the remainder of the day. If nothing else, it secretes ‘happy hormones’ which gives your body the much-needed inward push.

Anxious, all the time
Taking too much stress not only gives you high blood pressure, but reduces your attention span as well. Avoid being restless and edgy, and consciously try to stay happy and hassle-free. Take pride in your work, your family, your house and your surroundings. It’ll keep you going.

No time for breakfast
Most people who feel tired by afternoon are the ones that skip breakfast in favor of a large lunch. If you do not take meals in the designated time frame, it’ll affect your hormonal secretion and leave you lethargic. Not taking breakfast works up your appetite, and subsequently, you overdo the lunch.

Tips to stay vivacious
- Take a timely and balanced breakfast comprising a bowl of oats, or cereals of your choice, fruits, and toast with some butter or margarine on it.
- Avoid drinking too much coffee or tea after breakfast and before lunch. Not only are you ruining your appetite, the excess caffeine makes you anxious as well.
- Don’t overeat at lunchtime as you are bound to feel tired for the rest of the day. However, your lunch should be a right balance of carbohydrates, proteins and fats. You can take chapattis, a bowl of dal, and a portion of green vegetables. Non-vegetarians can substitute dal with chicken stew, both a source of proteins. Try to avoid rice in the afternoon as it will invariable give you a belly bulge. In fact, if you go for a balanced diet at lunchtime, you wouldn’t require any of the calcium and multi-vitamin supplements.
- Sleep adequately at night.
- Swing into action an exercise schedule. Be it heavy duty gyming or a workout at home.
- Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water through the day.
- Avoid snacking between breakfast and lunch. It’s good to indulge in fresh fruits of various hues. From apples, peaches, oranges, berries, pomegranate to banana, fruits have their own distinctive properties, and are an abundant source of Vitamin A, C, potassium and flavonoids among others.
- Potato chips are a total diet killer. Take sprouts instead. You can even carry it in a little box with you to work, and have it when you feel the urge to snack. It keeps you fresh and your body, lighter.

Excellence

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked... The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency.

One Line Proposals, Even shorter Rejections

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

3. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)

8. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple mathematics otherwise!

Exam tricks

Arnold is appearing for his University final examination
which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper
for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out,
removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet

- Y for Heads
- N for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is
sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately
throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed,
approaches him and asks what is going on.

Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour. "But yaar", he says,




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" I am rechecking my answers."

Exciting Week With New Recipes

Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine.

Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But, Bob happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. Did they ever look startled when I served the salad.

Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can't say it improved the rice any.

Thursday: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the garden by my mom's. So I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there one hour so the dog would not take it. Bob came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why?

Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, right over to my mom's house. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday: Bob went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found a doll dress and some little shoes. I thought the hen looked real cute. When Bob saw it, I wondered why he counted to 10.

Sunday: Today Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all we had in the icebox, was hamburger. So I put it in the oven and set the controls for roast. Must be the oven, because it still came out hamburger.

Good night, Dear Diary. This has been an exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to
come, so I can try a new recipe on Bob.

Even Drunken

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.

Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly.

But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.

A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible.

Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and went to bed.

Who Cares

A MAN been drinking at a pub all night.

When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside,
he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face.

The MAN decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom.
When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time, he manages to pull himself upright
but he quickly falls right into bed. He is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting,

"So, you've been out drinking again!"

"Why do you say that?" he asks innocently.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

Can He Do It?

A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop."

The bartender said, "There is no way you can do that. Sure, I'll bet you three hundred dollars."

The man then begins to undo his pants and begins pissing. He starts pissing all over the bar, spraying on the bottles and the bartender, not making a single drop in the cup.

The bartender starts smiling and laughing and says, "That's it, you owe me three hundred dollars."

Full disk

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.

Santa : “My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can’t you carry even this much?”

Banta : “But yours is empty and my disk is full”!!!

Comic Joke

Meeting

Are you lonely?

Hate having to make decisions?

Rather talk about it than do it?

Want to pass the buck?



HOLD A MEETING!



Sharpen your skills in meaningless verbal interaction.

Learn to off-load decisions.

Write volumes of meaningless rhetoric.

Feel important, impress your colleagues.

Catch up on your sleep.



AND ALL ON WORK TIME!

I am Always Misinterpreted

People make assumptions about me that colors their ability to see if what I'm saying makes sense or is plausible. Consequently, nobody understands me and nothing I ever say is ever taken seriously. I am misunderstood not merely because people don't relate to me but because nothing I say about anything is ever taken as a valid statement

People don't ever consider the possibility that if they had more context they might see how what I'm saying is plausible. If I say that a certain thing happened to me they are always skeptical. It doesn't matter how simple or mundane the thing I am trying to convey to them is. They simply assume that what I say can't be true because they believe I'm not capable of understanding what going on in my life.

I speak my mind and it as if no one can hear me .It is like I live behind a glass wall unable to reach out to anyone. I live the daily struggles of life that we must all suffer without anyone who can hear me or be their to understand me.

What Happens After Engagement and Marriage.

AFTER ENGAGEMENT
HE: I waited so long for this.
SHE: Do you want me to leave?
HE: No, never.
SHE: Do you love me?
HE: Yes i did, i'm doing & i'll do.
SHE: Did you ever cheat me?
HE: I'd rather die than do it.
SHE: Will u kiss me?
HE: Surely, that's my pleasure.
SHE: Will u hurt me?
HE: no way i m not such a kind of person.
SHE: Can I trust u?
HE: Yes
SHE: Oh Darling!

To know
AFTER WEDDING
READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP

Naming The Twins

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Talented Dog

A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf. The man has a little dog with him, and on the first green, when he sinks a 20-foot putt, the little dog starts to yip, stands up on its hind legs and walks around in circles.

Amazed, the friend says, "Wow, that dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?"

"Somersaults," the man says.

"Somersaults!" the friend exclaims.

"That’s incredible. How many does he do?"

"It all depends on how hard I kick him."

Natural Medicine

MUSHROOM – EAR
Slice a mushroom in half and it resembles the shape of the human ear.
And guess what? Adding it to your cooking could actually improve your hearing.
That’s because mushrooms are one of the few foods in our diet that contain vitamin D.
This particular vitamin is important for healthy bones, even the tiny ones in the ear that transmit sound to the brain.

BANANA (SMILE) – DEPRESSION
Cheer yourself up and put a smile on your face by eating a banana.
The popular fruit contains a protein called tryptophan.
Once it has been digested, tryptophan then gets converted in a chemical neurotransmitter called serotonin.
This is one of the most important mood-regulating chemicals in the brain and most anti-depressant drugs work by adjusting levels of serotonin production. Higher levels are associated with better moods.

BROCCOLI – CANCER
Close-up, the tiny green tips on a broccoli head look like hundreds of cancer cells.
Now scientists know this disease-busting veg can play a crucial role in preventing the disease.
Last year, a team of researchers at the US National Cancer Institute found just a weekly serving of broccoli was enough to reduce the risk of prostate cancer by 45 per cent.
In Britain , prostate cancer kills one man every hour.

GINGER – STOMACH
Root ginger, commonly sold in supermarkets, often looks just like the stomach.
So it’s interesting that one of its biggest benefits is aiding digestion.
The Chinese have been using it for over 2,000 years to calm the stomach and cure nausea, while it is also a popular remedy for motion sickness. But the benefits could go much further.
Tests on mice at the University of Minnesota found injecting the chemical that gives ginger its flavor slowed down the growth rate of bowel tumors

CHEESE – BONES
A nice ‘holey’ cheese, like Emmenthal, is not just good for your bones; it even resembles their internal structure.
And like most cheeses, it is a rich source of calcium, a vital ingredient for strong bones and reducing the risk of osteoporosis later in life.
Together with another mineral called phosphate, it provides the main strength in bones but also helps to ‘power’ muscles.
Getting enough calcium in the diet during childhood is crucial for strong bones.
A study at Columbia University in New York showed teens who increased calcium intake from 800mg a day to 1200mg – equal to an extra two slices of cheddar - boosted their bone density by six per cent.

BEANSPROUTS – SPERM
The stir-fry favorite bears an uncanny resemblance to the images we see of ‘swimming’ sperm trying to fertilize an egg. And research from the US suggests they could play an important part in boosting male fertility.
A study at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio showed that to make healthy sperm in large quantities, the body needs a good supply of vitamin C, a powerful antioxidant that protects cells against damage by harmful molecules called free radicals.
Just half a cup of bean sprouts provides 16 per cent of the recommended daily allowance of vitamin C for a man.
It’s not just dad but baby too who could benefit.
Bean sprouts are packed with foliate, a vitamin that prevents neural tube defects, where the baby is born with a damaged brain or spine.

GRAPES – LUNGS
OUR lungs are made up of branches of ever-smaller airways that finish up with tiny bunches of tissue called alveoli.
These structures, which resemble bunches of grapes, allow oxygen to pass from the lungs to the blood stream.
One reason that very premature babies struggle to survive is that these alveoli do not begin to form until week 23 or 24 of pregnancy.
A diet high in fresh fruit, such as grapes, has been shown to reduce the risk of lung cancer and emphysema.
Grape seeds also contain a chemical called proanthocyanidin, which appears to reduce the severity of asthma triggered by allergy.

TOMATO – HEART
A TOMATO is red and usually has four chambers, just like our heart.
Tomatoes are also a great source of lycopene, a plant chemical that reduces the risk of heart disease and several cancers.
The Women’s Health Study — an American research program which tracks the health of 40,000 women — found women with the highest blood levels of lycopene had 30 per cent less heart disease than women who had very little lycopene.
Lab experiments have also shown that lycopene helps counter the effect of unhealthy LDL cholesterol.
One Canadian study, published in the journal Experimental Biology and Medicine, said there was “convincing evidence’ that lycopene prevented coronary heart disease.


WALNUT – BRAIN
The gnarled folds of a walnut mimic the appearance of a human brain - and provide a clue to the benefits.
Walnuts are the only nuts which contain significant amounts of omega-3 fatty acids.
They may also help head off dementia. An American study found that walnut extract broke down the protein-based plaques associated with Alzheimer’s disease.
Researchers at Tufts University in Boston found walnuts reversed some signs of brain aging in rats.