We have Sumanto Chattopadhyay - the Executive Creative Director of O & M, Vikram Bawa - an ace fashion and landscape photographer, Osh Bhabani the owner of the hip salon B:Blunt and Karsten Miranda whose currently a BMM student at St. Xavier's College. Karsten was also part of the Organising Committee of Malhar 2008.
Here's what they had to say
Whether it's family or work, why are women expected to make adjustments?
Sumanto Chattopadhyay: It doesn't have to be that way anymore. If you're financially independent, you can give him a copy of your own new-age rule book. And if that doesn't work, give him the boot!
Vikram Bawa: Traditionally men have been the bread-winners of the family. It's perceived that while men earn for the house, women take care of it.
Osh Bhabani: I am somebody brought up by women and they have made adjustments. But, I don't think it's necessary anymore-both men and women have to compromise.
Are women, unlike men, incapable of physical intimacy without an emotional attachment?
Vikram: Yes, I agree. For a man, physical independence is something coming from the animal era? where physical 'infidelity' is seen as a need or release of sexual energy, or sense of power. It is not necessarily connected with love. For men, love is about being emotionally attached, but not necessarily physically bound.
Sumanto: (cheekily) Most men having affairs aren't having them with single women, so clearly there are women having affairs too!
Karsten Miranda: A section of the male fraternity thinks bedding a woman as a conquest. Fidelity in a relationship cannot have two masters. Any man who feels he can compartmentalise emotions as per 'activity' in a relationship finds himself lonely.
What does 'commitment' mean to a man?
Osh: (smiling) Men generally feel they have to compromise all aspects of their life in order to be in a serious relationship. Jokes apart, commitment means complete dedication to your partner.
Vikram: Commitment does not come easy, but when it does come to a man, it would mean that he has agreed to 'take care' of the woman he loves in entirety.
Karsten: We, men, need space-do our own thing, whether it is going out with the boys or cultivate a hobby.
Can a man and woman be 'just good friends'?
Osh: Yes of course they can. Sex does not have to come in the way of everything.
Sumanto: A man and woman can enjoy a sweet, piquant relationship; a friendship with extra tenderness that comes from this bit of physical attraction. It can go on beautifully as long as both know in their hearts that taking it to another level might lead to fireworks.
Vikram: It is very difficult for a man and a woman to be just good friends. There will always be sexual undertones.
Are men and women really 'equal'? Is it true that the woman a man dates is usually different from the one he chooses to marry?
Osh: I don't think men and women are treated equally in India. And dating is a way of finding a type of person you would like to be with, the last person you date is the person you end up with.
Vikram: In today's world, men and women both will date someone more powerful than themselves, but will choose to dump them instead of marrying them.
Sumanto: Even among friends of the same gender, you usually find one who is dominant. It's human nature. And, in traditional couples, men have been the dominant ones. In the new era, it can work the other way too; a dominant career woman with an adjusting husband. But if both are the dominant alpha type, then God help the relationship!
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