Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
How to be Successful
1)First you should study the Field of Your Interest
2) Second Plan about your study / career
3) Work Hard To reach your Interest
4) Manage your time
2) Second Plan about your study / career
3) Work Hard To reach your Interest
4) Manage your time
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Eat Less To Live Longer
Researchers from Harvard Medical School, in collaboration with scientists from Cornell Medical School and the National Institutes of Health, have discovered two genes in mammalian cells that act as gatekeepers for cellular longevity. When cells experience certain kinds of stress, such as caloric restriction, these genes rev up and help protect cells from diseases of aging.
"We've reason to believe now that these two genes may be potential drug targets for diseases associated with aging," says David Sinclair, associate professor of pathology at Harvard Medical School and senior author on the paper.
1. Eat a variety of nutrient-rich foods. You need more than 40 different nutrients for good health, and no single food supplies them all. Your daily food selection should include bread and other whole-grain products; fruits; vegetables; dairy products; and meat, poultry, fish and other protein foods. How much you should eat depends on your calorie needs. Use the Food Guide Pyramid and the Nutrition Facts panel on food labels as handy references.
2. Enjoy plenty of whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Surveys show most Americans don't eat enough of these foods. Do you eat 6-11 servings from the bread, rice, and cereal and pasta group, 3 of which should be whole grains? Do you eat 2-4 servings of fruit and 3-5 servings of vegetables? If you don't enjoy some of these at first, give them another chance. Look through cookbooks for tasty ways to prepare unfamiliar foods.
3. Maintain a healthy weight. The weight that's right for you depends on many factors including your sex, height, age and heredity. Excess body fat increases your chances for high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, some types of cancer and other illnesses. But being too thin can increase your risk for osteoporosis, menstrual irregularities and other health problems. If you're constantly losing and regaining weight, a registered dietitian can help you develop sensible eating habits for successful weight management. Regular exercise is also important to maintaining a healthy weight.
4. Eat moderate portions. If you keep portion sizes reasonable, it's easier to eat the foods you want and stay healthy. Did you know the recommended serving of cooked meat is 3 ounces, similar in size to a deck of playing cards? A medium piece of fruit is 1 serving and a cup of pasta equals 2 servings. A pint of ice cream contains 4 servings. Refer to the Food Guide Pyramid for information on recommended serving sizes.
5. Eat regular meals. Skipping meals can lead to out-of-control hunger, often resulting in overeating. When you're very hungry, it's also tempting to forget about good nutrition. Snacking between meals can help curb hunger, but don't eat so much that your snack becomes an entire meal.
6. Reduce, don't eliminate certain foods. Most people eat for pleasure as well as nutrition. If your favorite foods are high in fat, salt or sugar, the key is moderating how much of these foods you eat and how often you eat them.
Identify major sources of these ingredients in your diet and make changes, if necessary. Adults who eat high-fat meats or whole-milk dairy products at every meal are probably eating too much fat. Use the Nutrition Facts panel on the food label to help balance your choices.
Choosing skim or low-fat dairy products and lean cuts of meat such as flank steak and beef round can reduce fat intake significantly.
If you love fried chicken, however, you don't have to give it up. Just eat it less often. When dining out, share it with a friend; ask for a take-home bag or a smaller portion.
7. Balance your food choices over time. Not every food has to be "perfect." When eating a food high in fat, salt or sugar, select other foods that are low in these ingredients. If you miss out on any food group one day, make up for it the next. Your food choices over several days should fit together into a healthy pattern.
8. Know your diet pitfalls. To improve your eating habits, you first have to know what's wrong with them. Write down everything you eat for three days. Then check your list according to the rest of these tips. Do you add a lot of butter, creamy sauces or salad dressings? Rather than eliminating these foods, just cut back your portions. Are you getting enough fruits and vegetables? If not, you may be missing out on vital nutrients.
9. Make changes gradually. Just as there are no "super foods" or easy answers to a healthy diet, don't expect to totally revamp your eating habits overnight. Changing too much, too fast can get in the way of success. Begin to remedy excesses or deficiencies with modest changes that can add up to positive, lifelong eating habits. For instance, if you don't like the taste of skim milk, try low-fat. Eventually you may find you like skim, too.
10. Remember, foods are not good or bad. Select foods based on your total eating patterns, not whether any individual food is "good" or "bad." Don't feel guilty if you love foods such as apple pie, potato chips, candy bars or ice cream. Eat them in moderation, and choose other foods to provide the balance and variety that are vital to good health.
"We've reason to believe now that these two genes may be potential drug targets for diseases associated with aging," says David Sinclair, associate professor of pathology at Harvard Medical School and senior author on the paper.
1. Eat a variety of nutrient-rich foods. You need more than 40 different nutrients for good health, and no single food supplies them all. Your daily food selection should include bread and other whole-grain products; fruits; vegetables; dairy products; and meat, poultry, fish and other protein foods. How much you should eat depends on your calorie needs. Use the Food Guide Pyramid and the Nutrition Facts panel on food labels as handy references.
2. Enjoy plenty of whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Surveys show most Americans don't eat enough of these foods. Do you eat 6-11 servings from the bread, rice, and cereal and pasta group, 3 of which should be whole grains? Do you eat 2-4 servings of fruit and 3-5 servings of vegetables? If you don't enjoy some of these at first, give them another chance. Look through cookbooks for tasty ways to prepare unfamiliar foods.
3. Maintain a healthy weight. The weight that's right for you depends on many factors including your sex, height, age and heredity. Excess body fat increases your chances for high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, some types of cancer and other illnesses. But being too thin can increase your risk for osteoporosis, menstrual irregularities and other health problems. If you're constantly losing and regaining weight, a registered dietitian can help you develop sensible eating habits for successful weight management. Regular exercise is also important to maintaining a healthy weight.
4. Eat moderate portions. If you keep portion sizes reasonable, it's easier to eat the foods you want and stay healthy. Did you know the recommended serving of cooked meat is 3 ounces, similar in size to a deck of playing cards? A medium piece of fruit is 1 serving and a cup of pasta equals 2 servings. A pint of ice cream contains 4 servings. Refer to the Food Guide Pyramid for information on recommended serving sizes.
5. Eat regular meals. Skipping meals can lead to out-of-control hunger, often resulting in overeating. When you're very hungry, it's also tempting to forget about good nutrition. Snacking between meals can help curb hunger, but don't eat so much that your snack becomes an entire meal.
6. Reduce, don't eliminate certain foods. Most people eat for pleasure as well as nutrition. If your favorite foods are high in fat, salt or sugar, the key is moderating how much of these foods you eat and how often you eat them.
Identify major sources of these ingredients in your diet and make changes, if necessary. Adults who eat high-fat meats or whole-milk dairy products at every meal are probably eating too much fat. Use the Nutrition Facts panel on the food label to help balance your choices.
Choosing skim or low-fat dairy products and lean cuts of meat such as flank steak and beef round can reduce fat intake significantly.
If you love fried chicken, however, you don't have to give it up. Just eat it less often. When dining out, share it with a friend; ask for a take-home bag or a smaller portion.
7. Balance your food choices over time. Not every food has to be "perfect." When eating a food high in fat, salt or sugar, select other foods that are low in these ingredients. If you miss out on any food group one day, make up for it the next. Your food choices over several days should fit together into a healthy pattern.
8. Know your diet pitfalls. To improve your eating habits, you first have to know what's wrong with them. Write down everything you eat for three days. Then check your list according to the rest of these tips. Do you add a lot of butter, creamy sauces or salad dressings? Rather than eliminating these foods, just cut back your portions. Are you getting enough fruits and vegetables? If not, you may be missing out on vital nutrients.
9. Make changes gradually. Just as there are no "super foods" or easy answers to a healthy diet, don't expect to totally revamp your eating habits overnight. Changing too much, too fast can get in the way of success. Begin to remedy excesses or deficiencies with modest changes that can add up to positive, lifelong eating habits. For instance, if you don't like the taste of skim milk, try low-fat. Eventually you may find you like skim, too.
10. Remember, foods are not good or bad. Select foods based on your total eating patterns, not whether any individual food is "good" or "bad." Don't feel guilty if you love foods such as apple pie, potato chips, candy bars or ice cream. Eat them in moderation, and choose other foods to provide the balance and variety that are vital to good health.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
How to Be Cool
Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you dying to be the cool girl, who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident, unique, and on friendly terms with everyone. There's no reason you can't be like that yourself.
Steps
1. Act like you do not care what others think of you. We will always, on some level, be concerned with others' opinions of ourselves, but realize that ultimately, you will never be able to please everyone, so why bother trying? People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy and have fun.
2. Be aware of how others will perceive you. This might seem to contradict the previous step, but there's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another's perspective. In terms of physical appearance, beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure, try not to stare too much (it makes people uncomfortable), stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; body language analyzation can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.
3. Present yourself in a positive way. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need.
4. Find real friends. For example, if people don't hang out with you because you don't wear designer clothes, they are not real friends. Instead, find friends that see you for who you are. If the people standing in front of you can't see you for you, then how can they be your friend?
5. Don't be afraid to be different, whether that means standing up for you, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument or dancing when no one else will. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo.
6. Speak up. Observe people who are "cool"--they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try and change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, unless you use it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
7. Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
8. Write a list of all of the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent -- sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it.
9. Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm. Don't be disruptive, annoying, or have unpredictable mood changes. You are serene and steadfast in your coolness and it should show. That means not getting too caught up in anything, not even your cool self.
10. Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive.
11. Use appropriate language. Many people think it makes them cool when they curse, but all it's really doing is showing that you're trying to be cool.
12. Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends. Then wait for the right moment to make a comment, usually to great result. However, if you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with them. Making fun of people is fine, but make sure that you know the limits on it and that the people you're around are the kind of people who know you're kidding.
13. Dress how you want. As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Guys have been known to get girlfriends even though they wore argyle sweaters all the time. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness. Being cool despite wearing something people generally make fun of.
14. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently (see #6) and if you feel it is necessary adopt a more formal register and use multi-syllabic words. However do not go overboard as this may make you appear pretentious, this being just as bad as seeming fake. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.
Tips
• A good way to truly be cool is not to try to be cool at all. Make friends who enjoy things that you enjoy, and talk to them, hang out with them etc. Talk freely to people about funny things, and just be an all around nice person.
• If you think you are un-cool because people don't like you, don't take it too harshly. Sometimes people want to get to talk to you so speak up and the main thing is be yourself. If you strongly agree or disagree with someone, tell them that. Don't become a product of everyone you know.
• It is way un-cool to trip or fall in front of people only to get up and lose your composure and act defeated. In this instance, you'll be the laughing stock of your witnesses. These things can happen to anyone, so if you DO trip and fall, when you get up, confidently brush yourself off, give the thumbs up, add a grin, and go on your way. Keeping your composure is key. Laughing at yourself can be a good way to make it seem less awkward and makes you seem relaxed.
• Be humble. Vanity isn't cool.
• If being picked on is your worry, know and understand that showing yourself affected by it is precisely what separates the coolest from the others, and take this as a chance to actually be perceived as cool. Know that who you are in your core is not determined by others, especially if they don’t truly know you. Be happy with yourself as you are, since there is nothing really wrong with you in your core.
• Find a way to love learning. The coolest people do a lot of really cool things. There is an old system that says the more you practice the easier something is to do. When you can learn something really well it's easier to be cool at it.
• Learn to read people and be patient when sharing an opinion. Understand that whatever you say to someone or give advice that is just your opinion. They either accept it or reject it, there's no need to force them to understand. Just make sure you know what you're talking about.
• Change your attitude--if you have a negative attitude change it. Cool people always have a positive attitude. No one likes a negative person. When people get to know you and see that you always have a positive look on things even when things are not going your way, they will enjoy your company.
• Lastly and most importantly, BE YOURSELF. If you don't, it will follow you into the future and you'll have friends who only like the person you pretend to be, instead of you.
Warnings
• Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" and still hang out with not the most popular group.
• There is no textbook definition of cool. Some people may think it's cool to have drugs or drink and drive etc. whereas in reality its not. It will only turn other people off if they see you having drugs or smoking.
• Don't base your coolness on making others seem un-cool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.
• Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are; it’s about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are.
• Being cool can be a challenge. A lot of people who aren't cool can slow your path to coolness down. So if something puts you in a bad mood, it's good to have reminders of your end goal of being awesomely cool. Also if your mood distracts you enough for you to forget your end goal reminders can help you stay positive.
• You get the coolest by staying cool the longest. Practice makes perfect.
• If you do are accepting of others and include only cool people, others will be attracted to your level of confidence of socializing and thus consider you cool to hang around with, but you wont because your way to cool.
• Never use your coolness to put people down! With great power comes great responsibility!
• Always stick up for those below you! Always be nice.
• Don't try to be a stereotype. Act the way you want to and listen to the music you want to. Dress the way you want to. Being cool is being you. Find out who you are and then be true to it. That's cool.
Things You'll Need
• Just be yourself.
Steps
1. Act like you do not care what others think of you. We will always, on some level, be concerned with others' opinions of ourselves, but realize that ultimately, you will never be able to please everyone, so why bother trying? People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy and have fun.
2. Be aware of how others will perceive you. This might seem to contradict the previous step, but there's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another's perspective. In terms of physical appearance, beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure, try not to stare too much (it makes people uncomfortable), stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; body language analyzation can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.
3. Present yourself in a positive way. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need.
4. Find real friends. For example, if people don't hang out with you because you don't wear designer clothes, they are not real friends. Instead, find friends that see you for who you are. If the people standing in front of you can't see you for you, then how can they be your friend?
5. Don't be afraid to be different, whether that means standing up for you, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument or dancing when no one else will. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo.
6. Speak up. Observe people who are "cool"--they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try and change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, unless you use it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
7. Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
8. Write a list of all of the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent -- sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it.
9. Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm. Don't be disruptive, annoying, or have unpredictable mood changes. You are serene and steadfast in your coolness and it should show. That means not getting too caught up in anything, not even your cool self.
10. Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive.
11. Use appropriate language. Many people think it makes them cool when they curse, but all it's really doing is showing that you're trying to be cool.
12. Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends. Then wait for the right moment to make a comment, usually to great result. However, if you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with them. Making fun of people is fine, but make sure that you know the limits on it and that the people you're around are the kind of people who know you're kidding.
13. Dress how you want. As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Guys have been known to get girlfriends even though they wore argyle sweaters all the time. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness. Being cool despite wearing something people generally make fun of.
14. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently (see #6) and if you feel it is necessary adopt a more formal register and use multi-syllabic words. However do not go overboard as this may make you appear pretentious, this being just as bad as seeming fake. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.
Tips
• A good way to truly be cool is not to try to be cool at all. Make friends who enjoy things that you enjoy, and talk to them, hang out with them etc. Talk freely to people about funny things, and just be an all around nice person.
• If you think you are un-cool because people don't like you, don't take it too harshly. Sometimes people want to get to talk to you so speak up and the main thing is be yourself. If you strongly agree or disagree with someone, tell them that. Don't become a product of everyone you know.
• It is way un-cool to trip or fall in front of people only to get up and lose your composure and act defeated. In this instance, you'll be the laughing stock of your witnesses. These things can happen to anyone, so if you DO trip and fall, when you get up, confidently brush yourself off, give the thumbs up, add a grin, and go on your way. Keeping your composure is key. Laughing at yourself can be a good way to make it seem less awkward and makes you seem relaxed.
• Be humble. Vanity isn't cool.
• If being picked on is your worry, know and understand that showing yourself affected by it is precisely what separates the coolest from the others, and take this as a chance to actually be perceived as cool. Know that who you are in your core is not determined by others, especially if they don’t truly know you. Be happy with yourself as you are, since there is nothing really wrong with you in your core.
• Find a way to love learning. The coolest people do a lot of really cool things. There is an old system that says the more you practice the easier something is to do. When you can learn something really well it's easier to be cool at it.
• Learn to read people and be patient when sharing an opinion. Understand that whatever you say to someone or give advice that is just your opinion. They either accept it or reject it, there's no need to force them to understand. Just make sure you know what you're talking about.
• Change your attitude--if you have a negative attitude change it. Cool people always have a positive attitude. No one likes a negative person. When people get to know you and see that you always have a positive look on things even when things are not going your way, they will enjoy your company.
• Lastly and most importantly, BE YOURSELF. If you don't, it will follow you into the future and you'll have friends who only like the person you pretend to be, instead of you.
Warnings
• Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" and still hang out with not the most popular group.
• There is no textbook definition of cool. Some people may think it's cool to have drugs or drink and drive etc. whereas in reality its not. It will only turn other people off if they see you having drugs or smoking.
• Don't base your coolness on making others seem un-cool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.
• Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are; it’s about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are.
• Being cool can be a challenge. A lot of people who aren't cool can slow your path to coolness down. So if something puts you in a bad mood, it's good to have reminders of your end goal of being awesomely cool. Also if your mood distracts you enough for you to forget your end goal reminders can help you stay positive.
• You get the coolest by staying cool the longest. Practice makes perfect.
• If you do are accepting of others and include only cool people, others will be attracted to your level of confidence of socializing and thus consider you cool to hang around with, but you wont because your way to cool.
• Never use your coolness to put people down! With great power comes great responsibility!
• Always stick up for those below you! Always be nice.
• Don't try to be a stereotype. Act the way you want to and listen to the music you want to. Dress the way you want to. Being cool is being you. Find out who you are and then be true to it. That's cool.
Things You'll Need
• Just be yourself.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
How to be Successful
1)First you should study the Field of Your Interest
2)Second Plan about your study / career
3)Work Hard To reach your Interest
4)Manage your time
2)Second Plan about your study / career
3)Work Hard To reach your Interest
4)Manage your time
Friday, July 3, 2009
Part of My SPILA
Toxic Personalities
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member; you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered on their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is so over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common.
1) The more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.
3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
p874bkmdfr
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member; you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered on their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is so over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common.
1) The more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.
3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
p874bkmdfr
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
How to Ask for a Pay Raise
Asking for a Pay Raise
Step 1
Call or email your employer and ask for a private meeting. It is not necessary to divulge why you are asking for a private meeting. Just say you want to talk in private. If your boss wants to know before the meeting, just say you'd like to discuss a pay raise. Your employer may want to be prepared for the meeting.
Step 2
Come to the office the day of the meeting dressed professional. If your office normally dresses casual, just dress to impress your employer the day of the meeting. This will show them you are serious about this meeting and are serious about your job.
Step 3
Stay calm when talking to your employer. Treat this meeting like it is your first interview with this employer. Keep your eyes focused on your employer so they know you are serious. Try not to shift in your seat when talking. If you need to look at your notepad, make it brief. Your employer will be impressed you came prepared to state your case for a pay raise.
Step 4
Produce evidence of your success in the workplace when your employer asks why you want a raise. This is when you take out your notepad with the list of your accomplishments, such as your attendance record, willingness to work extra hours, or ability to assist coworkers.
Step 5
Shake your employer's hand while looking their in the eyes. Your employer may say they need time to think it over and look up your work history and dedication to the company. If the company gives pay raises on a set schedule, you may need to wait until the next pay rise time period.
Step 1
Call or email your employer and ask for a private meeting. It is not necessary to divulge why you are asking for a private meeting. Just say you want to talk in private. If your boss wants to know before the meeting, just say you'd like to discuss a pay raise. Your employer may want to be prepared for the meeting.
Step 2
Come to the office the day of the meeting dressed professional. If your office normally dresses casual, just dress to impress your employer the day of the meeting. This will show them you are serious about this meeting and are serious about your job.
Step 3
Stay calm when talking to your employer. Treat this meeting like it is your first interview with this employer. Keep your eyes focused on your employer so they know you are serious. Try not to shift in your seat when talking. If you need to look at your notepad, make it brief. Your employer will be impressed you came prepared to state your case for a pay raise.
Step 4
Produce evidence of your success in the workplace when your employer asks why you want a raise. This is when you take out your notepad with the list of your accomplishments, such as your attendance record, willingness to work extra hours, or ability to assist coworkers.
Step 5
Shake your employer's hand while looking their in the eyes. Your employer may say they need time to think it over and look up your work history and dedication to the company. If the company gives pay raises on a set schedule, you may need to wait until the next pay rise time period.
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