Wednesday, July 8, 2009

How to Be Cool

Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you dying to be the cool girl, who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident, unique, and on friendly terms with everyone. There's no reason you can't be like that yourself.


1. Act like you do not care what others think of you. We will always, on some level, be concerned with others' opinions of ourselves, but realize that ultimately, you will never be able to please everyone, so why bother trying? People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy and have fun.

2. Be aware of how others will perceive you. This might seem to contradict the previous step, but there's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another's perspective. In terms of physical appearance, beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure, try not to stare too much (it makes people uncomfortable), stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; body language analyzation can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.

3. Present yourself in a positive way. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need.

4. Find real friends. For example, if people don't hang out with you because you don't wear designer clothes, they are not real friends. Instead, find friends that see you for who you are. If the people standing in front of you can't see you for you, then how can they be your friend?

5. Don't be afraid to be different, whether that means standing up for you, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument or dancing when no one else will. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo.

6. Speak up. Observe people who are "cool"--they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try and change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, unless you use it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.

7. Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.

8. Write a list of all of the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent -- sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it.

9. Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm. Don't be disruptive, annoying, or have unpredictable mood changes. You are serene and steadfast in your coolness and it should show. That means not getting too caught up in anything, not even your cool self.

10. Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive.

11. Use appropriate language. Many people think it makes them cool when they curse, but all it's really doing is showing that you're trying to be cool.

12. Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends. Then wait for the right moment to make a comment, usually to great result. However, if you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with them. Making fun of people is fine, but make sure that you know the limits on it and that the people you're around are the kind of people who know you're kidding.

13. Dress how you want. As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Guys have been known to get girlfriends even though they wore argyle sweaters all the time. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness. Being cool despite wearing something people generally make fun of.

14. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently (see #6) and if you feel it is necessary adopt a more formal register and use multi-syllabic words. However do not go overboard as this may make you appear pretentious, this being just as bad as seeming fake. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.

• A good way to truly be cool is not to try to be cool at all. Make friends who enjoy things that you enjoy, and talk to them, hang out with them etc. Talk freely to people about funny things, and just be an all around nice person.
• If you think you are un-cool because people don't like you, don't take it too harshly. Sometimes people want to get to talk to you so speak up and the main thing is be yourself. If you strongly agree or disagree with someone, tell them that. Don't become a product of everyone you know.
• It is way un-cool to trip or fall in front of people only to get up and lose your composure and act defeated. In this instance, you'll be the laughing stock of your witnesses. These things can happen to anyone, so if you DO trip and fall, when you get up, confidently brush yourself off, give the thumbs up, add a grin, and go on your way. Keeping your composure is key. Laughing at yourself can be a good way to make it seem less awkward and makes you seem relaxed.
• Be humble. Vanity isn't cool.
• If being picked on is your worry, know and understand that showing yourself affected by it is precisely what separates the coolest from the others, and take this as a chance to actually be perceived as cool. Know that who you are in your core is not determined by others, especially if they don’t truly know you. Be happy with yourself as you are, since there is nothing really wrong with you in your core.
• Find a way to love learning. The coolest people do a lot of really cool things. There is an old system that says the more you practice the easier something is to do. When you can learn something really well it's easier to be cool at it.
• Learn to read people and be patient when sharing an opinion. Understand that whatever you say to someone or give advice that is just your opinion. They either accept it or reject it, there's no need to force them to understand. Just make sure you know what you're talking about.
• Change your attitude--if you have a negative attitude change it. Cool people always have a positive attitude. No one likes a negative person. When people get to know you and see that you always have a positive look on things even when things are not going your way, they will enjoy your company.
• Lastly and most importantly, BE YOURSELF. If you don't, it will follow you into the future and you'll have friends who only like the person you pretend to be, instead of you.

• Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" and still hang out with not the most popular group.
• There is no textbook definition of cool. Some people may think it's cool to have drugs or drink and drive etc. whereas in reality its not. It will only turn other people off if they see you having drugs or smoking.
• Don't base your coolness on making others seem un-cool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.
• Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are; it’s about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are.
• Being cool can be a challenge. A lot of people who aren't cool can slow your path to coolness down. So if something puts you in a bad mood, it's good to have reminders of your end goal of being awesomely cool. Also if your mood distracts you enough for you to forget your end goal reminders can help you stay positive.
• You get the coolest by staying cool the longest. Practice makes perfect.
• If you do are accepting of others and include only cool people, others will be attracted to your level of confidence of socializing and thus consider you cool to hang around with, but you wont because your way to cool.
• Never use your coolness to put people down! With great power comes great responsibility!
• Always stick up for those below you! Always be nice.
• Don't try to be a stereotype. Act the way you want to and listen to the music you want to. Dress the way you want to. Being cool is being you. Find out who you are and then be true to it. That's cool.

Things You'll Need

• Just be yourself.


Post a Comment

My Blog Directory